Seoul Hero

UPDATE: I’ve since been informed that “cha-rae” is the term used for “chaesa” during the lunar new year and Choo-suck holidays. I have not changed the post to reflect this, however.
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I remember last year’s 설날 (the lunar new year holiday, pronounced sol-lal), when I badly wanted to observe the 제사 (pronounced chae-sa) ceremony of a typical Korean family. The term chaesa denotes the rite of offering food to one’s ancestors. Well, this year, I got my wish! For the long weekend my new wife and I went to her parents’ place in Paju, and there they were kind enough to let me participate as a full family member in the chaesa ceremony. I would like to give my impressions of it for my western readers. Before I do so, I want to emphasize that, from all the conversations I’ve had with Korean people, it seems there is no universally-accepted way to perform the chaesa ceremony. For example, many Christians do not perform the ceremony at all for theological reasons. Some families allow both males and females to participate, while others follow the older custom and prohibit the women from taking part in the ceremony. I have also heard differing views on which kinds of food go at which ends of the table. Accordingly, readers should realize that everything I say below may be subject to variation. Korean readers, particularly those resident inside Korea, are welcome to comment (after registering, as all my commenters must), from their own experiences of this time of year.

The chaesa ceremony is a quiet event; there is no speaking. The ceremony consists of the presentation of food to the ancestors, with accompanying bows. Chae Young’s family adheres to the custom of only allowing males to participate (of course, the food was largely, although not entirely, prepared by the women; Chae Young’s brother cooked the meat, and and he and I folded a small percentage of the numerous mandu dumplings). Chaesa takes place in the home of the oldest son in the family.

Prior to the commencement of the ceremony, a large table was set up along one of the walls, with a smaller table, tray, and bowl placed in front.

In the center of the far long side there was a vertical paper holder, shaped like a small, elongated tabernacle with two doors that were opened. (The doors are impossible to see in the photographs, unfortunately. By “tabernacle,” I mean the little box that holds the Blessed Sacrament in Roman Catholic churches. ) At the beginning this little container held a piece of paper with some writing on it, indicating the names of Chae Young’s father’s great-grandparents. The term denoting the paper and the holder is 지방 (pronounced chee-bang).

The table itself contained many small dishes of food, piled high vertically, and arranged based on a picture in a small book about the chaesa ceremony. Certain foods must go at certain ends. The book was briefly consulted prior to the ceremony by Chae Young’s brother. A similar picture to the one above follows below:

Before I describe the ceremony further, I must apologize to my readers for not remembering exactly the precise order of everything–I was so humbled at being allowed to take part in a ceremony of this nature, and I was so concerned not to give offense at anything that I was not able to be as methodical as I would have liked to have been. For example, Chae Young’s father was in and out of the room at various times, and I can’t remember exactly when he was in, and when he was out.

At the start of the ceremony, we (Chae Young’s brother, his two sons, and I, and perhaps Chae Young’s father–I forget) bowed, two times all the way to the floor, with the third time a half-bow. Then, Chae Young’s brother (or father–I forget whom) poured some kind of traditional alcohol into one of the little cups on the small table. Then he raised the cup, and made a small circle around the incense two and a half times. He then poured the cup into the bowl. He also bowed two and a half times alone. At various times we all did the same thing, making a small circle around the incense two and a half times, and bowing two and a half times individually. The next two photographs show Yours Truly performing this offering.

Later, the paper inside the tabernacle was replaced with the names of Chae Young’s father’s grandparents, and the process was repeated. Finally, the the paper was again replaced with the name of Chae Young’s father’s father only. The only other element to the ceremony was the tapping of chopsticks on the table, three times each for certain dishes of food. I believe this tapping was done so that the ancestors could hear and attend to their food. After the tapping, the chopsticks were placed on top of the food items. They were not placed vertically, as I have heard was done formerly, but rather horizontally, as you can see in the picture below:

It is very possible that other families place the chopsticks vertically; I do not know. Following the ceremony, the papers were taken outside and burned in the stairwell of the apartment. The ashes were then blown out the window (or would have been, had the wind not promptly brought them back inside the building again). This was the entire ceremony, lasting perhaps 20 minutes.

It seemed noteworthy to me that two and a half as a number kept coming up throughout the ceremony. When we bowed, we always bowed two and a half times. We made two and a half circles when we circled the cup around the incense. (Interestingly, there were two and a half sets of ancestors who were presented with food (great-grandparents, grandparents, and the father of Chae Young’s father–his mother is still alive, but lives far from Seoul. Apparently if she were dead and presented with food, the two and a half number would not change to three.)

Throughout the ceremony, the women were watching from the doorway of the room. The two young boys were not entirely serious the whole time (and dedicated Korea-watchers know that to be an understatement), but that did not seem to bother anyone. We males were all dressed more on the formal side than anything else, although we were not wearing suits. I sometimes shower in the evening, but was on this case instructed by my wife to shower prior to the start of the ceremony. The male-only formality did not stop my wife from coming in on her T-shirt and shorts to take pictures. I was very grateful for this, because after the ceremony started, I did not want to interrupt it by taking pictures.

After the ceremony finished, we proceeded to eat the food. A large portion was given to Chae Young’s brother’s family to take home, and we took home some food, too. For the sollal meal, we ate traditional Korean foods, including mandoo dumplings. The weekend’s events also featured some 장기 (Korean chess, pronounced ” jang-gi” and often written as janggi) matches between Chae Young’s nephews, and a game of 윷노리 (pronounced approximately as yoot-no-ri) played with four sticks. I believe I wrote about this game on my old blog. Basically, each stick has a flat side. One throws the sticks, and then they fall down. If they fall with one flat side up, one’s piece moves 1 on the board. If there are two flat sides up, then one moves two. If they all land flat-side-up, then one moves four spaces, and takes an additional turn. The best throw is when all the pieces land flat-side down, which means one can move five spaces, and take another turn. Additionally, if you land on someone else’s marker, you send them back to start, and take another turn. The game is played with three markers for each person, or team. The first person or team to bring all their pieces home wins. Despite my description of this game, there are probably other ways to play. At various times, everyone, including yours truly, played the game of yootnori.

I also performed the 세배 (pronounced say-bay) bows, as did Chae Young’s niece. This elicited laughter, as the practice is ordinarily reserved for children. Saybay consists of a deep bow to one’s elders, after which they give the bowing children money and good advice. The money I received was nominal; apparently it is customary for adult children to give their parents money! As for advice, my mother-in-law wants me to eat more and get fat, while my father-in-law wants me to learn Korean and not touch Chae Young too much while we’re eating! I was on the giving end of saybay, too as Hee Jung (Chae Young’s niece and good friend) bowed to me. I gave her my advice in English, as she understands me, advice relating to her post-high school career. My advice was “don’t give up, and don’t worry.”

Two of Chae Young’s siblings were not present at the ceremony. As I’ve written earlier, her brother-in-law borrowed almost her entire savings, only to pocket it and disappear, promising to pay by certain dates many times, each time coming and going without a phone call. He and his wife were not present at the ceremony and no longer communicate with anyone. Chae Young’s oldest brother, the father of her niece, Hee Jung, was not present, perhaps because of a problem with soju; Hee Jung was raised by her grandparents, and grew up in the same house as my wife. Not only are they good friends, but Hee Jung is a friend of mine, too. In any case, whatever her father’s faults, he does give her limited financial support, which is more than one can say of her mother, who divorced him and went to America, shortly after Hee-Jung’s birth. Her mother has never communicated since. Finally, because this sollal fell on a weekend, there were two fewer holidays than normal, meaning that Chae Young’s grandmother and uncles and aunts, who live in the extreme south of the country, simply could not come.

Despite the heartbreak of stolen money and absentee parents, everyone was very happy. Everyone helped to prepare the food, too, although (naturallly) this fell on the shoulders of the women in more than the men. Chae Young’s nephews giggled almost coninuously all weekend, and Hee Jung won almost all the games of “yoot” letting out a loud whoop every time she through the sticks in the most advantageous manner. Apparently it is customary for each party in a game to put down the equivalent of about $1, meaning Hee Jung pocketed nearly $10 on the games, in addition to what she collected from me, Chae Young, and her parents and uncle!

My participation in a typical Korean family’s chaesa ceremony, is a source of great pride, gratitude, and honor for me. Although I am not a natural fit in a Korean family (I’m a foreigner with very limited Korean language ability), I was welcomed with open arms, as well as with a lot of beef, something that was done to please me, as the family prefers pork (although in fact I have no preference). I reflected a little on the signficance of what happened on the weekend, and concluded that perhaps we were a microcosm of the entire society of Korea. The changes in the makeup of Korean society, from the old man who asks his son-in-law to use -imnida and -imnika speech forms when speaking to him, to his wife who laughs off this request saying even banmal is ok, to the absent scandal-ridden family members, to the absent distant family members, to the the faithful son and daughter-in-law and their happy two children, to the happy grand-daughter raised by her grandparents, to the independent daughter and her foreigner husband–these are all indicative of the changes in the makeup of Korean society as a whole. In many ways it’s exciting to be part of such dynamic change, even if I remain a stranger in a strange (but wonderful) land.

It was a wonderful weekend. Happy Lunar New Year to each of you, my readers, wherever you are and whomever you be!